Bonding with the baby

This weekend Adam was able to feel the baby move for the first time. It was a very surreal experience for both of us. Lately we're both wanting to focus more on bonding with this baby - especially since we're starting to feel hope that maybe we really will have a baby this time - but it is not as easy as it sounds for bereaved parents. It's something I've been discussing with my counselor as well. Apparently mothers who have lost a baby very often have attachment issues with subsequent babies, and it can really affect the new baby, even now in the womb. I want to do my best to really love this baby for who she is, and completely separate her from Zach and my experiences with Zach. After all, it is not her fault that everything happened the way it did. She deserves to be treated as a firstborn, as much as Zach does. A good friend pointed out to me that we can consider Zach our firstborn son and this baby our firstborn daughter. I liked that.

Adam and I really think that choosing a name will help us bond with the baby. We're really close to picking out a name, but are just afraid to commit. It's such a big decision! We've wanted to wait until we made a final decision before "announcing" it, and that is still our plan, but it's just hard to take that final step.

In other news, we start childbirth classes tonight...